


You do

by hazzard



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Philinda - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 01:10:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7824334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazzard/pseuds/hazzard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You ok?"</p><p>He had no idea who he was anymore.</p><p>But she was here. She was <em>here</em> and she cared if he was ok.</p><p>He gave her a smile. "15 minutes."</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>"I need to show you something."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He had 24 minutes left.

Only 24 minutes.

 

All of a sudden, she was in his doorway. He wasn't surprised. He should've known.

"You ok?"

He had no idea who he was anymore.

But she was here. She was _here_ and she cared if he was ok.

He gave her a smile. "15 minutes."

She nodded.

"I need to show you something."

 

He was pretty sure she'd never held his hand. Now, she'd grabbed it, walking down the corridor, she'd just grabbed it, like it was the most natural thing in the world. It felt like her hand belonged there.

 

She stopped in front of the glass window facing the bottom floor.

She let go of his hand, and went up to the window, turned her back to it and crossed her arms. "Look."

He did look. At _her._ Damn, she was pretty. She'd kick his ass if she'd known he'd used 'Melinda May' and 'pretty' in the same sentence. He crossed his arms too. "Why are we here?"

She rolled her eyes. Very subtly, yes, but he could read her tells. She gestured towards the window. "Just _look._ "

He walked closer and looked.

And he saw.

They were all there.

Daisy, Simmons, Fitz, Mack. Elena. They were sitting with their backs against the wall, bottles in their hands, laughing together. Fitzsimmons were holding hands.

His team. His _family._

It didn't feel like they were his anymore.

He turned away. "What's your point? That they're gonna be fine without me?" He tried to smile. "Because believe me, I _know._ "

Melinda tensed up, a frown on her face. "What are you talking about?"

He tried smiling again. "In..." He glanced at his watch. "...8 minutes and 23 seconds I won't be their director anymore." Her face was filled with pity. He hated that. "No, don't feel sorry for me. I'm not needed like I used to be needed." He shrugged. "I'm not needed at all. It's ok. It's how it's..."

She grabbed his arm, anger shining from her eyes. "My point was, that look at them, see them being a family, and..." He took a breath to say something, but she grabbed him harder and looked so pissed he swallowed his words. "And _you_ did that. You made them a _family._ You made them _belong._ " She reached out a hand to wipe away the tears he hadn't even noticed had started to fall. Her voice turned soft, the anger melting away from her. "You did that, Phil. _You._ " He grabbed her hand and smiled, for real this time. "So did you. We did it together." She smiled back. "Yes." Then she turned serious again. "And that's exactly how we'll continue this next chapter. _Together._ "

Before he could stop himself, he'd reached down and kissed her cheek. When he got up again, he could tell she was a little flustered. He smiled, tugging a loose strand of her hair away. "Thank you, May. For everything." His hand stopped on her nape. Her eyes were big and full of questions. They stared at each other, neither of them letting out single breath. 

It was like something shifted between them, just then. Like the universe had changed course. Like the air they breathed had filled with something unknown that made it difficult for the air to enter his body.

She looked like an angel.

Her hand was still on her skin. She hadn't moved. She hadn't forced him away.

He really shouldn't push his luck. 

But then again, when it came to her, he'd always been an idiot.

He took a breath. "Melinda, I..."

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

And just like that, the spell was broken.

He quickly pulled away from her, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. He checked his phone and grimaced. "Sorry, he's here. I need to..." He gestured to the door. She'd tensed up. The armor was up. She nodded. "Go." He nodded back, if a little hesitantly, and after sending her the question his heart was screaming and seeing her avoiding his glance, he turned towards the door.

He stopped in the doorway and turned to her again. He couldn't leave like this.

He swallowed nervously, feeling the sweat breaking out in his hands, and prayed to some God his voice would come out steady. "We're fine, right?" He needed to know. He needed her right now. He wouldn't be able to have things be awkward between them right now.

She took a breath, her eyes meeting his. "Phil..."

He bit his lip and scratched his neck. "I know. But I need you."

She took another breath. Her eyes were glossy. She shook her head, arms squeezing tighter around her. "Phil, _please,_ please don't..."

Of course she didn't want to hear this. Of course she didn't want his lame love confessions and his 'feelings' dumped on her. She was his best friend. He was about to screw up the most important relationship he had, just because he dreamed about kissing every inch of her body.

He was the _definition_ of selfish.

He cleared his throat. "No, I just mean that I need you as a..." His heart was bleeding in his chest. "I need you as a friend." Upon hearing the word 'friend', she instantly became more relaxed. Of _course_ she had. He smiled at her. "Do I have that? Do I have..."

"Yes." Her answer was quick and without doubt. "Yes. You do."

He smiled again. "Good. I'll be fine, then."

She smiled too. "Go."

He nodded and was out the door in three seconds, leaving his stupid dreams and his shattered heart behind, with her, where they belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo I was _supposed_ to write a prompt... but this came instead. whoops. (also sorry to the prompter... it's coming, promise!!)
> 
> no idea what this even is.
> 
> hope you enjoy anyway!
> 
> kudos/comments are my soulmates.
> 
> hugs and all my love to you xx


	2. Chapter 2

He was here.

 

He’d been here for half an hour. He’d said hello to everyone, taken everyone’s hand. He’d been charming and funny and, once he’d let them go, Phil had heard whispers of admiration as they were walking out of the office.  
May had stood silently and observed the entire time, no news there. This new director had shot her more glances than Phil was entirely comfortable with.

Phil looked at Melinda, trying to read her. He had no idea what she was thinking.

The new director cleared his throat. “So, Coulson, if you don’t mind I’d really like to go over some stuff. You know, from the old director to the new one.” Phil nodded. “Sure. Let’s do it.”

“What about her? May, was it?”

“She stays.”

He nodded, and Phil was sure he’d seen just a hint of a smile on Melinda’s face.

 

He shouldn’t have asked her to stay.

She was his right hand, yes. He trusted her more than anyone else, he trusted her with his life.

And, even though he was pretty sure, and hoped, she was oblivious to the truth, so was the truth that he loved her.

That was the problem, wasn’t it.

 

This new director had not stopped looking at her.

Phil was very aware that Melinda May was a beautiful woman. He knew what effect she had on people. Hell, he himself was the prime example of that. But oh, how he hated when other people saw it too. He hated when it was so obvious in their faces, and he worried it was just as obvious on his face, too.

But he could’ve handled being attracted to her. He’d always been attracted to her. He’d been attracted to her when she’d told him he was her best friend, he’d been attracted to her when they’d rolled out the mats and taken a few rounds, he’d been attracted to her when he’d picked her up in the mornings and said ‘Good morning’ to her husband.

The attraction wasn’t the problem.

The _love_ was.

 

He wasn’t sure when that whole ‘love’ thing had started. Maybe it’d always been there.

But it _sucked._

It sucked when he couldn’t help staring at her and wonder how it’d feel to kiss her. It sucked when he’d told himself ‘Today is the day. I’m doing this. Before it’s too late.’ only to get a call from her, and that call told him that there was an Andrew and that it was already too late. It sucked when he’d tried to give his whole heart to Audrey and managed to erase Melinda May almost completely, but there were pieces of his first love left, and he suspected she’d always be there. And he’d had a naked Audrey Nathan in his arms and he’d loved it, he’d loved _her_ , but his mind wandered and threatened to go to someone else, someone who was his damn best friend and should be nowhere near any part of him when he had sex with his girlfriend.

It sucked at times like these, when it’d been almost 30 years and he saw someone flirt with his best friend and it made his heart bleed. It sucked that his heart still bled for her.

 

They were on a undercover mission. The director was married to May in this scenario. Phil was in the outlines, serving pigs in blankets to rich people who had a fascination for art and was interested in spending 3 million on a painting of a pineapple floating in space. One of these rich people was a drug lord that’d captured inhumans to help with business.

It did feel weird to not call the shots, but Phil would’ve been totally fine with it if he’d been allowed to work with May on this.

But May was sipping champagne with the director and he had an arm around her waist and whispered things in her ear and Phil knew that that was her fake laugh, because he knew how her real laugh sounded like and that was _definitely_ not one of those, but seeing them like that still made him… jealous.

There was no other word for it. He was jealous out of his mind.

Such a fool.

 

The director was young. Handsome. Looked a little like Ward.

Melinda had slept with Ward.

Melinda had been attracted to Ward.

Phil glanced at them again and felt another stab to the heart.

He was a damn, damn fool.

 

He put down the tray on the bar disk and went to the bathroom, found an empty stall and locked himself in.

He had to get himself together. This was so unprofessional. Yes, Melinda was wearing a deep red dress with a slit (to help her move, of course) and naturally she was so sexy his breath caught in his throat but that shouldn’t matter, he should still be able to handle it. Yes, the new director had been flirting with her shamelessly for weeks now, sending her looks, complimenting her performance, bringing her tea in the morning, needing to personally go over missions with her…

Phil felt like he was losing his partner. He wasn’t director anymore and a director needed a right hand. The new director had obviously picked May.

It felt like he hadn’t seen his best friend in weeks. They’d barely had any missions together, and they’d never been paired up.

They were a team. Everyone knew Coulson and May were a team. Daisy had asked him about it, said it was weird seeing mom and dad apart.

Phil agreed. It was weird. It was _wrong._

He missed her _so much._

 

He’d been standing in that bathroom stall for what felt like an hour, just breathing in and out and trying to gather the strength to have to see them again, when he heard a knock at the door.

“It’s someone in here”, he said, his voice thin.

“I know that. Hence the me banging on the door to make you open it, so you can get back in there and do your goddamn job.”

_May._

His heart jolted in his chest.

He took another breath before opening the door.

“Hi.”

May scoffed. “Hi? That’s _it?_ ”

“What do you want me to say?”

He could read concern on her face now. She stepped into the stall and closed the door behind her.

They stood there for a while until the silence became too much for him. He cleared his throat, crossing his arms. “I’m sorry. I had to go to the bathroom.”

Melinda rolled her eyes, also crossing her arms. “You’ve been in here for 20 minutes, Phil.” He shrugged and raised his eyebrows. “Diarrhea?”

She rolled her eyes again, but he’d seen the slight smirk on her lips. “Not buying it.” Then, the concern on her face came back. “You ok?”

He tried to smile. “Of course.” Melinda just looked at him. After a minute or two of silence she shook her head in frustration. “What’s going on?”

He hoped he looked nonchalant. “What do you mean?”

That made Melinda even more frustrated. He could tell by her tense shoulders and, well, by the fire in her eyes.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

He scoffed, looking down at the floor. Melinda went from frustrated to full on pissed.

“What?”

Phil looked up at her. “Nothing. Just funny how you blame this on me.”

Melinda furrowed her brows. “Blame _what_ on you?” Phil scoffed again. She tensed up even more, and if looks could kill, he’d be six feet under by now.

She took a step closer. She was so close, he could smell her perfume. _Shit._ He had to stay strong. He bit his inner cheek before answering her. “This”, he gestured. “Us not working together or hanging out or even talking.” Phil took a breath to gather himself and continued. “But you do seem to have the time to do all those things and more with someone else.”

Melinda gave him a look of disbelief. “Is _that_ what this is about? You’re jealous because I spend time with the director?”

 _Of course he was._ He shook his head, but couldn’t get any words out that would deny her claim.

He couldn’t do this.

He cleared his throat, avoiding her eyes. “We should get back to work.” He took a step, but May grabbed his arm and stopped him.

He stared into the bathroom door. Melinda’s hand was burning his skin.

He wanted to push her away, but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Please, Phil. Look at me.” Her voice was low, and it sounded like she was begging and that was not fair because he’d never been able to resist her begging.

He turned around, slowly. Melinda’s hand was still on his arm. He had to look at her.

“I don’t trust him. I’ve been spending time with him to observe, see how he operates.” Phil felt like an idiot and looked down again.

She put a hand under his chin and lifted his head, forcing him to meet her eyes. “You’re not replaceable, Phil. Not to me. _Ever._ ” She frowned. “How come you don’t know that?”

Phil couldn’t help but smile. “I _do_ know that. I just…” He bit his lip. “I forget sometimes.”

Melinda smiled too. She looked at him like he was an idiot but the affection was so clear in her eyes that it made a warm feeling spread through his entire body. Out of all the ways she looked at him, that was his favorite.

She gently slapped his cheek and smirked. “Come on. We have to get back before our boss becomes suspicious.” She let out a little chuckle. “He asked if we're sleeping together.”

Phil’s heart stopped.

“I didn’t answer, of course. He kept going on and on about how unprofessional that would be.” She looked at Phil and her smirk grew even bigger. “Which is funny, considering that all he’s done since he got here is try to get me into bed.”

Phil stared at her.

Melinda just smiled and grabbed his hand, dragging him out the stall.

All that time trying to get himself together in the bathroom had been completely wasted. He was an even _bigger_ mess now.

 

Just after they’d stepped into the ballroom, she pulled him closer. Her breath tickled his ear and sent chills down his spine. “You know”, she whispered, “Maybe we _should_ sleep together. He thinks we’re doing it anyway and it might get him to finally back off.” Phil could hear the teasing smile in her voice. He forgot how to breathe. “Just a thought.” She leaned even closer. “Think about it and get back to me.”

Then, she pulled away and waved at the director, walking towards him and meeting him halfway and grabbing his arm, the ‘admiring wife’ routine growing back on her face.

Phil stopped his champagne serving colleague who happened to walk past him. “Hey. Give me that tray.” The guy gave him a weird look but handed it over. Phil gave him a sunny smile. “Thanks.” The guy just shook his head and headed towards the kitchen. Phil took a glass from the tray and swallowed it in one go.

Then he walked towards the bar, put down the empty glass, took a deep breath and began walking the rounds.

The aftermath of this mission would surely be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was the prompt I was supposed to write. it fit into this universe so well, so I just said "I guess that's ok" and put it here. to the original prompter: hope you don't mind getting two chapters (even if the first one isn't what you asked for)!
> 
> to everyone: hope you enjoy! comments/kudos are the best.
> 
> hugs!
> 
> xx


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